Teach them to do it for themselves.
When our daughter was 15 months old we enrolled her in survival-type swimming lessons via Infant Swimming Resource. Maybe you’ve heard about this - children as young as 6 months old learning to roll in the water and float? (See more about ISR here).
We had a marvelous instructor who on the very first day, after seeing the fear in our eyes, said to us:
“If you don’t believe she can do it, then you should leave now. Because I know she can. She needs to know that you believe in her.”
That struck a chord right away. She was exactly right. If we didn’t think she could do it, what were we doing there? I admit I wanted to snatch my daughter out of the water at the very first sign of discomfort. What I didn’t consider was that my behavior was sending clear signals to my daughter that I didn’t think she could do it. Of course as parents we wanted to protect her. The goal of these lessons was to enable her to float, saving herself, if she ever accidentally fell into a body of water. Did we want to sabotage her success?
We trusted in the instructor and in our little girl, and cheered them on through the entire process (which admittedly was at times difficult to observe). At the end of 7 weeks, my daughter completed the course by ”falling” off the edge of the pool, fully clothed. After sinking down into the water, she immediately rolled over and floated. At 15 months, she did this all by herself.
I realized that my children are more capable than I give them credit for.
Allowing children to do things for themselves is integral to the traditonal Montessori methodology. A a very young age Montessori students participate in practical life exercises that enable them to do various things for themselves. This includes what we might consider mundane tasks like getting dressed (buttons, snaps, zippers), cleaning up (washing dishes, sweeping, mopping, laundry), baking, and *gasp* cutting with a knife. This is done for various reasons. Read more about it here.
Our daughter made banana bread in class yesterday. She had been watching other children do it. She knew not to touch the materials or the oven because she had not yet had a lesson, but she was very interested. The spark in her was ignited. First she was given a lesson on it by her teacher. Then she partnered with an older student (5 years old) to watch and assist. After a few weeks she is doing it all by herself. She just turned four.
At home she is delighted to help prepare meals and fold laundry. She can dress herself, brush her teeth, comb her hair, and toast her own waffles. She sweeps the floor, and cleans up her own messes. She is showing her younger brother how these things are done. Without the experience with the swimming instructor, I would still be “protecting” my kids from things that they are clearly capable of doing.
It just goes to show you - if you believe in them and show them the proper way, they can do it for themselves.
Children are much more capable of doing just about anything than most adults will give them credit for. I find that the more annoying and dependent a child acts the more likely it is that their parents treat them like they’re incompetent. And more importantly, they communicate with them verbally in a similar fashion.
If you talk to a child and they’re well spoken, watch them interact with their parents. I guarantee you that their parents treat them with respect and don’t put on some baby voice once they start talking to them. They talk to them like they’re adults. Now watch a child who cries constantly and never behaves. Chances are their parents treat them like they’re a nuisance and also talk like a baby to them.
Just watch. You’ll be amazed.
go up
The most beautiful stairs I have ever seen! Like floating thin whispy clouds. And this recessed handrail detail is absolutely perfect.
via: the fab metamusings
cabbagerose:
agreed!
I have no doubt that I would fall and kill myself on these stairs.
The trouble with defending European civilisation against the immigrant threat is that the ferocity of the defence is more of a threat to ‘civilisation’ than any number of Muslims.
L.A. Liberty: What to Remember on Memorial Day
When news outlets and social media share photos of tearful mothers, fathers, wives, and children mourning their lost loved ones, my heart breaks at the senseless death and unnecessary sorrow. The state claimed a life, and then marked its claim by adorning the casket in its symbolism. And too few…
I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high class muscle man for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents. …
War is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable*, surely the most vicious. It is the only one international in scope. It is the only one in which the profits are reckoned in dollars and the losses in lives. A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of the people. Only a small ‘inside’ group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many. Out of war a few people make huge fortunes.
United States Marine Corps Major General Smedley D. Butler
*Of course, such destruction could only ever be profitable if its losses were borne by others: funded by force (taxation and inflation) and funneled by favor (cronyism and corruption).
(via laliberty)
oh yeah.
This life is too much trouble, far too strange, to arrive at the end of it and then to be asked what you make of it and have to answer “Scientific humanism.” That won’t do. A poor show. Life is a mystery, love is a delight. Therefore I take it as axiomatic that one should settle for nothing less than the infinite mystery and the infinite delight, i.e., God. In fact I demand it. I refuse to settle for anything less. I don’t see why anyone should settle for less than Jacob, who actually grabbed ahold of God and would not let go until God identified himself and blessed him.
